Wednesday, October 27, 2010

I Love Motherhood, I do.........


Oh how I LOVE my kids! So much, that it hurts sometimes! I just wish that my patience reflected that love! I get so mad at myself at the end of the day, most days....wishing I had more, and then praying for more! Every night in my prayers I'm always asking for forgiveness for loosing my cool, and then proceeding to ask for more patience! Is this normal, or even ok? I sometimes feel like I'm failing my kids. I want to be the Wonder Mom that spends all day entertaining, and playing, and makes fun crafts (for kids lol) and is always loving and soft spoken....Um I'm not really any of those things. I dont loose it everyday, and yes, we do fun things, when I have time. I feel like all I have time for is to clean, make food, try to get them to eat their food, clean up food, laundry, and more laundry, Change diapers, grocery shop, feed the dog, pick up mess after mess, so much energy on repeating myself a thousand times to get Braeden and Reece to listen to anything I say or ask, and a million other little things, and when that is all done, it starts all over again! And yet my house is always a pit! I never feel caught up, so I guess when I do have a "down" moment I should jump at the chance for quality time with my kids, I'm just worn out! I feel guilty for sharing this, even though I'm sure I'm not alone, well I know I'm not. But that doesn't really make me feel better. I think I do have more patience than I did starting out as a Mom 5 1/2 years ago, but then I think no way is that possible when I had 1 sweet little boy, who listen for the most part, and now I have 3, 1 who NEVER listens, 1 who does pretty well for a 5 year old, and well Owen doesn't really count yet! But I feel like I am making progress, or more like 3 steps forward, and 2 back every other day, but that is something right? :) Ross is such a big help, I am so lucky to have him by my side!

But then of course there are those Moments small and sometimes few between, that out weigh the bad, by a thousand! And that is what makes it worth all of the Craziness! Those sweet voices that say "Mommy I love you"! All the giggles, and silly sayings, and smiles, oh how I love those smiles!


And then I think What on Earth do I have to complain about, I have 3 beautiful, healthy children.......I am so blessed, beyond measure!

5 comments:

Parkes Family said...

Well written thoughts of every Mother! Thanks for putting that into words, we all feel the same way (or at least I do)!

The Neales said...

I totally feel ya! We just learned something pretty awesome though...They have these great parenting classes in this ward, and they said its not our job to entertain our children all day! They said that the time that children bond most with their parnets, and learn new things is when they are helping working around the house! They have this energy too, and why not put it to use! It may be hard when they are litte and take longer to do the chores around the house than it would normally, but the children will love it, being able to help out! I have started to let Weston help, and it LOVES it! It takes me twice as long, but it is great entertainment, and we get to "talk" (I seriously have no idea what language, lol) and learn new things while we do it! It really has helped a lot! Anyways,just thought I'd share! Motherhood is awesome, and you are really blessed, your kids are very very cute! Love your new family pictures by-the-way!

K Bailey said...

Ditto/Amen/I'm right there with you to all of the above....can I copy/paste to my own blog? :) I won't...but I could.

Jessica Darling said...

Ang what a great post! You are such a wonderful mother despite what you think!! And your kids love you so much :)

Browns said...

ok did i write this??? Pretty sure You read my mind. i go through this post in my head every day. EVERY day. Every night I depress myself thinking exactly what you wrote. Oh goodness. wish we (i) could change by tomorrow and be the mom i sure thought I was going to be before i had kids!